#024 – Who could need an apology from you?

The art of making an apology


Question of the week - The art of making an apology - Flemming ChristensenWe can run so fast in our lives that we do not notice that we do or say something unintended that harms others. Or we can be so stuck in our own personality that pride prevents us from apologizing.


And there can be moments when we stop and reflect and become mindful and heartful about our actions and find that an apology would be appropriate.


This has happened to me twice recently.


In the first situation, a former student told me that I was rude to her when she was going through the certification that I am offering. I was so not aware that she felt I was making fun of her and that she was holding that situation as some of the most painful moments in her adult life. But after some hours of conversation and cups of “peace-coffee” we were able to see what was going on, and I gave her my deepest apology.


The second situation was about a conflict I had with someone, and I was still holding on to the frustration and disappointment of the relationship. I called the person and told him that I had been frustrated, disappointed, and angry for so long and that it had influenced our relationship in a not-so- healthy way. I apologized for not telling him how I felt and that I was holding back my emotions because of my pride or lack of emotional skills.


These two incidents also brought me in contact with other situations where I should send an apology to a few other people. It looks a little bit like forgiveness, where you forgive yourself for doing what you do and, at the same time taking responsibility for your actions.


Your weekly question


This week’s question is about giving and receiving an apology and here are some questions for you:


  • Why did you not give that apology, that you know you should have or could have given?
  • Do you wish that someone gave you an apology, and would you ask for it today?
  • What is it in your personality that makes it hard to give an apology and/ or forgive?



Your weekly quote


When we give or receive an apology, we discover a sense of humanity that can heal and create stronger relationships




Your weekly recommended reading


Click here to read about making apologies and having a fierce conversation



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