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#021 – Thank you for the feedback – even if it is given with poor timing and unfair

  • Written by Flemming Christensen
  • Date: June 19, 2023

Without feedback, it is difficult to learn and grow

 

Question of the week - We can not grow and develop without feedback - Flemming ChristensenWe can not come up with other ways of learning, growing, and developing new skills as useful as taking in feedback from others.

 

But most of us have our own shutting down mechanisms for not taking in the feedback, and we might have a long list of explanations (excuses) to why we should not.

 

On my own Top10 list of reasons why I should not listing to others’ feedback is “Why should I listen to amateurs, who do not know what they are talking about!”, “If you can not say something nice, positive and useful, then stay silent” or “If you can not explain your self better and in a way, where I can actually learn from what you are saying, then it is not feedback, and I should not listen to you”.

 

For sure, you also have your own personal Top10 list of why you do not take in feedback, and this week’s question is exactly that. Write your Tope10 list of ideas, assumptions, and fixation that prevents you from taking in the feedback.

 

(listen to the episode with Russ Hudson about how to catch yourself in the act on the Enneagram Insights Podcast)

 

There might always be something to learn from others’ opinions, ideas and assumptions about us.

 

The way others communicate can be absolutely off, done with extremely bad timing, publically and not privately, and in times when you are not in the mood or space for feedback.

 

But still, there might be something great to learn, be aware of or that can change your perception. It might just take some extra energy and presence to find it.

 

Your weekly question

This week’s question is about how you disconnect when people are giving you feedback, and how it might help to stay curious.

 

  • What are your triggers for disconnecting when people are giving you feedback?
  • How do you stay open for feedback, even if you are triggered?
  • When did you learn something useful from poorly given feedback?

 

 

 

Your weekly quote

 

When you estimate the power of feedback, don’t turn to the person giving you the feedback, turn to yourself with curiosity and openness

 

 

 

Your weekly recommended reading

 

Read the book “Thank you for the feedback” and find new ways to stay curious and open to new learnings

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