Care and attention to other creates Meaning and Purpose
We find meaning and purpose in different ways, and one of the ways is our care and loving attention to other’s needs.
When we dedicate ourselves to the needs of others, we often build deep personal relationships based on care, empathy, and genuine interest in the best of others. Every human being, no matter their age, needs to be seen, heard and met. We grow from babies with a small capacity for survival without being taken care of by others into adults who still remember the unconditional love we received when growing up. Even in our adult relationships, we remember that early love, care and attention and wish (demand) it from our love partner.
When I show my care and attention to my sons (Philip and Noah) and to my partner (Luise) and it is received well, then I also feel good about being the one giving my love to them. Often it is done unconditionally, but sometimes, I also expect something in return. This can be working on a conscious or unconscious level, but when I become aware of it, it is very embarrassing. I see myself as the one giving my love unconditionally, but there is also that part of me that does not.
Also I want others to give me their care, attention, and unconditional love, and I get furious when I discover that it was not given from a pure heart. It feels like manipulation or a trade like I did something for you, and now you do something for me. Sometimes, I hear parents demanding something in return from their child because they, as parents, cook dinner for their child, take them to a nice restaurant or vacation, or give them a new pair of pants. That is for me so embarrassing on behalf of the parent that they don’t even hear that they did not cook that dinner, go to the restaurant or vacation or give those pair of pants from a pure heart. But still… I have done the same!
So how do we give our care for others and pay attention to their needs in a balanced way, giving, guiding, and supporting from a pure heart? And how do we catch ourselves while the balance from unconditional to conditional love is happening?
Your weekly question
This week’s question is about how to create a healthy balance of being a giver, supporter or caretaker without conditions.
- What do you do to act from your pure heart when helping, supporting, guiding, assisting etc. others?
- How do you know when you have overdone good heart?
- When do you return to your balanced heart – especially among people you love deeply?
Your weekly quote
First you have to love youself unconditionally. Then…
Your weekly recommended reading
Nhien Vuong she Related To Enneagram Type 1
